I'm sure we all know that season premieres are designed to excite the viewers at home for the storylines that are introduced and will be running through-out the season. 9O21O failed to excite me with their season premiere 'Til Death Do Us Part'. Although, it was one crazy episode, so if you're into shows that don't make much sense and are jacked up then sit back and enjoy. The season premiere opens with Naomi and Max at the church, moments after everything that went down in the season 4 finale. Max (who was just about to get married) proposes to Naomi, cause why not? He was gonna get married anyway and he already has his tux on, just go for it. Naomi of course says "yes" because it's Naomi and that girl is the definition of bad decisions. Meanwhile, Vanessa and Liam have a little spat about how crazy she is. Turns out that home girl has some kind of movie contract that Liam signed. Not sure what this means but it doesn't look good for Liam. The Summer break did Arielle Kebbel well, she looks so pretty in this episode. Her character is a manipulative bitch with one or two loose screws but still very pretty. At Silver's apartment, Teddy and Silver are still discussing parenthood, Teddy isn't convinced that he's ready for that responsibility just yet. However, Silver is ready and waiting for him to hand over his sperm. P.S. are we just supposed to believe that Teddy and Silver's hair grew that fast?
We then pick up with Adrianna, who's chilling in Las Vegas with Carly Rae Jepsen, she's a much better actress than I thought she would be. Props to Carly Rae. Anyway, Adrianna then has a conversation with Navid as he tries to lure her back to Beverly Hills and into Dixon's arms. Can we talk about how pointless Navid is? Seriously, what is the point of his character anymore. But Adrianna says something about Dixon making up excuses and then hangs up the phone to go have slutty stranger sex with some random bar/club owner. Back in Beverly Hills, Liam decides to sell his bar and staples a 'For Sale' sign onto an electrical cord. Um, don't 'For Sale' signs usually go outside? Whatever, Navid then enters to tell everyone that Dixon is coming back but Adrianna doesn't want to see him. So to spare him the heartache, Annie calls Dixon only to find out that there's been an accident and she has to go identify bodies.
Picking up after the break, Naomi and Max are riding to Vegas to get eloped (hey, isn't that where Adrianna is?) Although, Naomi being herself decides that she's thirsty and the only thing to cure her mighty thirst is champagne. Not a good idea as the champagne cork goes into Max's eye and they drive into a ditch. Not far from the almost-newlyweds is Adrianna in bed with that random dude. I find it odd that Adrianna would just be sleeping with this nobody, I mean hasn't her character developed enough for her to know better? I guess not. On a darker note, Annie's at the morgue ready to identify dead bodies. The gang (except slutty Adrianna and thirsty Naomi) all come to support Annie and help her look at the bodies. The morgue scene reminded me of One Tree Hill but One Tree Hill did it much better, 9O21O's morgue scene was kind of like the rest of the episode - boring. Teddy looks at two out of three of the bodies for Annie, Silver can't take the suspense anymore so she checks the third body. I love Silver in this episode, she's getting stuff done. When they find out that Dixon isn't one of these bodies, they're told that someone survived the crash and they're in the hospital. Oh, that's great news, thanks for telling us after we checked all these dead bodies. Also, lets just talk about how stupid it is that Dixon survived that crash, you would never be able to survive that in reality. All Dixon cares about though is Adrianna. Will he shut up about her? Their relationship wasn't even that epic. It wasn't epic at all.
Then, finally, the moment we've all been waiting for, Carly Rae Jepsen gets up there and performs. Loved Carly Rae's song and all but the talk about Dixon totally ruined it. In addition, this episode has this weird juxtapostion of storylines going on. The storyline of Carly Rae Jepsen singing and then Max and Naomi's comic storyline is really weird when we cut to Dixon's storyline. That would have been better in another episode, just not this one. Speaking of Naomi and Max, Naomi gets the brilliant idea of hitchhiking. That's just great cause there's nothing dangerous about hitchhiking. At Naomi's house, Max's business partner shows up to look for Max cause apparently he's important now. Did we know that Max had a business partner or even a business? It then turns out that I was right, Naomi and Max are hitchhiking with a thief who's robbing a store and then Naomi has to be the getaway driver. I'm not making this up and I don't even get that Max and Naomi storyline at this point. Is all this really necessary?
Back at Naomi's place Navid and Liam find out that Silver is thinking of having a baby with Teddy and they both freak out. Listen, if Silver wants to have a baby then that's her choice. Liam and Navid need to grow up. Silver then gets a call from Naomi, it turns out that Naomi and Max are in jail. Seriously? How many times has Naomi been to jail in this entire series? And why are they acting like she's only been to jail twice in season 4. She's been to jail much more times than that. Max's business partner overhears the whole thing and takes it upon himself to bail Naomi and Max out. Back at the hospital, Adrianna finally shows up to see Dixon but who cares when Debbie Wilson shows up in the flesh. It was very nice of the show to bring her back and for the actress to agree to return. I'm kind of annoyed though that Harry Wilson didn't return especially as Debbie moved to Paris but we were told in season 3 that Harry never moved out of Beverly Hills. Checking back up on Max and Naomi, Max's business partner decides to only bail Max out and he informs the jail of Naomi's prison record. Is it mean of me to say that I'm happy that Naomi is finally suffering the consequences of her actions? I don't care, cause it is.
When we come back, we're told that Dixon is going to be relatively fine. Whatever. We all knew he was going to be fine. At the jail Naomi has to make a plea to the judge and Max swops in and saves the day. Also, it just so happens that this judge wants to marry Naomi and Max. Does anyone else think that Naomi is still a little bit young to get married? I don't care, cause she is. Navid and Liam decide to have a different kind of celebration, they throw themselves a pity party on the beach. I don't know what happened in this scene cause it was so boring but I think that they're cool with Silver's decision, not that they had to be cool with it. Silver doesn't need their permission. Liam's pity party continues at the bar but then he accidentally lights the place on fire with that stapled electoral cord.
Wrapping up the episode, Noami and Max return to find Annie moving out (or is she moving Adrianna out?) Teddy tells Silver that he wants to help her have a baby. Liam lies about the fire and claims for insurance. Navid decides that a burnt bar is a great investment, as does Adrianna's one night stand. Annie admits that she feels lost, which I love because last season was a weird one for Annie, hopefully they give her better storylines this year. Max's creepy business partner basically tells Naomi that he's gonna get rid of her, what's this guy's problem? Leave already, he's so weird and makes no sense. Lastly, Vanessa overhears Liam lie about the fire. The episode just ends here. It ended so weird, normally episodes build up to their ending, 9O21O just ended. It's like if 9O21O were a train and you were taking a ride on this train, you would except a nice smooth ending, not everything coming to a screeching halt. But it's 9O21O, get ready for another effed up season!
Overall episode score:-
'Til Death Do Us Part' = D+
By Leon Moore
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