'Gossip Girl' was very tame and disappointing this week with 'Where the Vile Things Are'. I don't know what but it felt like something was missing. We began with Blair waiting for her mother to arrive and when Eleanor got there she was really angry at Blair's latest ventures. Eleanor told Blair that she needed to let go of her dark side if she wanted to run Waldorf Designs. Blair can't change though, scheming is what she does, it's why I love her. In Brooklyn, Ivy and Rufus find out that no-one will be attending his gallery opening because Lily is having a rivalry auction the same night, I blame Ivy. Chuck is still trying to find evidence of Bart's bad dealings, he is led to a man named Bruce who has given Bart an envelope of some sort in the past. Dan stayed over at the van der Woodsen's the night before and the sexual tension between Dan and Serena is undeniable. But Dan wants his own place so Serena takes it upon herself to help him find one. Outside, Serena discovers that Dan now has a vespa, if you remember season 1 then you will remember that vespas really turn Serena on. The pair quickly ride off on the vespa as the paparazzi jumps out of nowhere to take pictures of them. I feel like a Dan/Serena relationship at this point is very unnatural but a friendship does not, I would prefer it if they would just remain good friends. I don't think that's where this season is going though.
Serena and Dan get away but they are still being photographed so they go somewhere where they won't be found. Nate helps Chuck out by having a meeting with this Bruce fellow but Bruce is keeping his lips sealed so Nate just steals his phone, very sneaky Nate. At the Waldorf's, Eleanor is still trying to get Blair to be less vindictive. She does this by inviting Nelly Yuki over so Blair can apologize. Nelly Yuki again! I did not expect to be seeing her! Chuck and Nate find a clue, I don't really follow the Bart Bass storylines until they come to a head so I'm sorry if I can't tell what this clue means but it meant something. Moving on, Ivy and Rufus try to buy all the paintings at Lily's auction but the guy tells them that it's too late for them to call the auction off so Rufus simply moves all of his paintings to Lily's auction. Might I say, what the heck happened to Ivy's hair? Okay back with Serena and Dan, they are at the place where they had their first date playing pool but they got to split up when the paparazzi find them again. The clue leads Chuck to thinking that Bart has the evidence planted in a painting somewhere. He feels that the painting is one from the van der Woodsen's collection so he sends Nate to check it out. Meanwhile, Blair is trying her best to be good but she can't handle it any longer so she blackmails Nelly Yuki with a photo of her from 'The Age of Innocence', I love that they brought this back just because it's so funny. However, Nelly doesn't play into Blair's plan and she tells Eleanor all about Blair's plan. Dan's new article this week is about Blair's scheming and Eleanor tells her that the article was all right.
Lily finds out about Ivy and Rufus' sabotage so she tries to one up them by donating a painting from her personal collection. That's right Lily, keep it dignified. On the streets, Blair finds Dan by using Gossip Girl's spotted map. She starts yelling at him about the article and tells him to fix it. I really don't think Dan cares but Blair goes as far as saying that she will fly Vanessa Abrams to New York if Dan isn't careful. Dan just walks away and Blair calls Nelly to ask if she'll meet Blair at Lily's auction. Nate is at the van der Woodsen loft trying to find the painting with the evidence in it when he runs into Serena. She confesses that she and Dan are getting closer and Nate tells her that she shouldn't feel like that for Dan anymore. I think that it's none of Nate's business. Nate gets Serena all worked up and Dan enters with chocolate covered strawberries just to hear Serena bad mouthing him. Remember the chocolate covered strawberries in season 2? They are really bringing all the old plot lines back for Serena/Dan. When Serena runs after Dan to apologize, Chuck asks Nate if there are any paintings missing and Nate spots an empty space where the rainbow spectrum lady once hung. At the art gallery, we're told that Lily is auctioning this piece.
The auction doesn't start well when Ivy and Lily have a vicious verbal battle, I'm loving every second of it because Lily is the queen of hurtful words. On the other side of the room, Blair tells Eleanor that she didn't invite Nelly so she could apologize, instead she is apologizing to Eleanor. Blair tells her mother that she's a bad seed and she can't change, she also says that she has no talent and Jenny Humphrey does. Wow, a Vanessa and Jenny reference all in one episode and both from Blair, quite shocking. Blair then resigns from Waldorf Designs and she has no future again, great. Lily and Ivy's verbal battle turns into a bidding war when the spectrum lady is being auctioned off. During this scene Lily finds out that Ivy has Lola's inheritance from CeCe. Also, Chuck gets in on the bidding action. At the loft, Dan has packed his things and is ready to leave. Serena is still apologizing and they go over their whole history, I realized at this point that they have both fallen so far. They get into the elevator and it gets stuck much like season 2, hmmm... what are the odds? Are the writers trying to tell us something? Back at the auction, I'm Team Chuck for once and I want him to win the painting so bad but the three of them get into an argument and Rufus wins the painting when they aren't looking. Also, Lily gets a text from Bart telling her not to sell the painting, Lily's in trouble...
Lily begs Ivy and Rufus to sell the painting back to her but they won't budge. I can't take Rufus and Ivy seriously they're just living in their own world of revenge. In the elevator, Serena and Dan make up just in time for it to start working again. Blair is feeling very down though and Nelly finds her on the steps of the Met. So nice to have the steps back, it makes me kind of sad. Nelly and Blair start to have a conversation about how influential Blair was in high school and then Blair gets an idea. In a last attempt, Chuck asks Ivy to sell the painting to him and she agrees.
When we come back, Serena and Dan are getting cozy on the van der Woodsen coach. There's clearly nothing I can do about it at this point so I'm just going with it. Serena actually asks Dan to stay so I guess he doesn't need to look for a new place anymore. At the Waldorf offices, Eleanor is getting drunk when Blair tells her that her dark side is her inspiration. What a coincidence, Blair's dark side is my inspiration too! Blair pitches the idea of a line of fashionable uniforms to Eleanor. This idea seems a little silly but whatever. When the painting is delivered to Chuck he finds that the evidence is missing and we're shown that Ivy is the one who now has the evidence. She is also on the phone to someone and she tells them to return so they can take down Lily, I'm guessing that she was talking to Lola. In the last scene, Serena leads Dan to her bedroom. Maybe she just wanted to show him her ant farm or something. But they probably had sex. Like I said, this wasn't a very exciting episode of 'Gossip Girl' but I'm hoping that it's just the calm before the storm. See you next week UESers.
Overall episode score:-
'Where the Vile Things Are' = B-
4 more episodes to go...
By Leon Moore
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